A tip.

Hey.

Ok, I want to share a tip about something I’ve been thinking about. A tip I wish someone could share with me when I was a lot younger. I wish that someone told me this long before I went to my first school-day. And would have reminded me of this tip my whole life. Every day I went to school to do some assignments, I should have someone beside my shoulder whispering in my ear – “The grades don’t matter!”.

Yes, that’s my tip. The grades do not matter and I really mean it.

So how did I come to this conclusion? And what the €%@# does this have anything with art to do? Well I’ll explain myself.

First off, I don’t write here as often as I want to do. Often I really want to write about something but before I get started I already dismissed myself thinking it’s not good enough to write about if somebody reads it. And here is my biggest problem in my life.

I don’t know how many times in my life I want to create an artwork but usually just stand thinking about it instead of just doing it. I mean, if I take my blog writing as an example. Why do I even care if it’s not good enough? It’s my thoughts! And they are good enough for me to think about them. They aren’t special but nevertheless I spend time to think about them either way! So it has to be of importance to me, otherwise I would be bored about my own thoughts and just ignore them. And for the secondly, quite frankly I don’t have any readers except my boyfriend so why should I be bothered about readers that don’t exist? And if I get any readers in the future, why do I base my blogs on the opinion of others? The whole idea of this blog is that it supposed to be my view and my thoughts about art!

So to explain a little bit closer. My biggest problem is that I do care what others think about me and my artwork. And I’m convinced that I’m NOT the only one in the world with this problem, therefore I want to share my tip. But it’s not that easy as it sounds. Because the problem is much deeper than that. Or at least the impact of the problem is a lot bigger than it sounds by just one sentence. As matter in fact, the impact of the problem disturbs my whole artist career. And a small part of it, it disturbs my blog-writing.

So about the grades. I’m the type of girl who always had high grades. I was very successful in the school because I put a lot of effort in my schoolwork. Some times I was really bored with school and i really hated some teachers, but either way I been always determined that I wouldn’t give up or quit. I was never shy and I love to learn new things. I was probably the type of person who was called a nerd but never bullied of it. In fact, in my class we where 90% nerds. Of course we got “the cool kids” and they hated us others but we where the majority so we never got bothered by them. And in the nerd group, I wasn’t the best but I got the results what I and my parents wanted. I was focused to get my grades to the point that I had freedom to choose whatever college or opportunity that needed good grades. And I’m really blessed by this, because I can’t deny that my good grades have taken me this far. But what is my point by this?

Well, If you know me (which you don’t but I’ll explain) you would understand that I’m the type of person who gets the job done if you ask me. And I’ll do my best, whatever the reason is. It doesn’t matter if I don’t like the subject or not, I will find something interesting in it. Or I will do the job by force just to prove to myself that I’m not a quitter! Even if it takes a long time. Of course I’ve been given up some few assignments that I wasn’t able to finish in time due to the deadline because hey, I’m a human… Not a robot. But I promise you that I beat myself up badly by my failure.  And by experience I’ll tell you, that my type of person (and I know there is a lot of these of persons out there) doesn’t need grades to do a good job, we’ll do it anyway. Either way, I had grades. And I know this doesn’t apply on every person out there who is like me. But for me, the grades become a challenge. Especially between my nerd friends. Who got the best grades? And the competition was on.

This competition had a much grater impact on my life that I gradually become “the nice girl syndrome”. Now, don’t misunderstand me! Grades only did not affect me to get to this state, I had  a lot of other things in my life that pushed me to become who I was and am today! But we are going to focus only the impact of the grades in my life. And the grades had an important impact to my life shaping who I am today.

So the grades basically taught me that if I do the job good enough, I will get a reward from it. A reward from my parents, teachers will like me more, my friends will respect and like me and so on. Therefore I changed my focus. From “do the hard work and learn from it despite the results”, to “don’t care how you do it just get the best results”. But even if my focus changed I never cheated! Never in my life did I cheat on a test or an assignment, but yes, I got effective. Because I understand what a teacher want to hear. I know how a novel should sound or (here is the important one) how a picture should look like to get the high grades. So now, when I was younger, I got it. I combined my passion of painting and my searching for higher grades. And the result was 12 years in school, training of perfect realistic paintings. My grades got me to the point of skill-level that the teacher couldn’t give me any other grades than the highest. And that was even when I didn’t do the assignments I was supposed to do.

So fast forward to today. Today I’ve got big problems. Because the whole time in school I used a pin point focus to get every one around me to think highest, biggest and the best about me. I was surrounded by people who decided my future by my grades. And the grades decided where I would educate myself in my future.

Today, I’m lonely.

I don’t have any people to please anymore. I can’t get any higher grades. After my graduation I don’t have any teachers to decide my fate any more. Or wait, Now I lie. I do have teachers to please. As matter in fact, I want to educate myself in a Fine Arts academy. But I got denied, again. My problem? My former teacher that I know in the school says that I paint nicely, but not truthfully. And it shows.

So, here I sit. Years after my graduation from highschool. My high grades are useless in applying to a fine arts academy, because the only thing that matters to them is the artwork samples. And boy, haven’t I tried to please them, the jury in the academy with my expertise in realistic paintings?

But I know now. That fine art’s is not about how to paint the best photography alike painting. I have known that for years. But can I wrap my mind around it? No. Can I understand that fine art is maybe more about expressing your feelings than just be a pretty picture? Yes. Can I do it? No… Not yet at least. I’m too focused to paint what the jury want’s to see, than actually paint what I want to show as an artist in the future.

I hate just pretty pictures. I gag when I see “IKEA art”, because I can’t stand pictures that are just nice to look at. It’s nothing wrong with them but I don’t like pictures that’s cliché. But yet, when I do art I fail miserably. I fail so hard that even my own teachers don’t approve me to the schools I apply for.

I focus so much on creating the perfect artwork which makes me unable to “just do it” and see how it turns out. I often think of artworks that I want to do but dismiss them before I start because they are a waste of my time, they are too bad. What would my parent’s say about my artwork? I’m so focused to get high grades, so now, when I don’t have any teachers to get high grades from… I’m in a coma. I simply don’t know what to do, because nothing is worth it.

I wish that someone could have told the younger me, that the grades don’t matter. Because I would get the high grades automatically. If I had focused on the process of working.

By that I mean the working of work. That may sound silly, but it really is what it sounds like. Everyone have heard the common saying that is the path to the goal is the only thing that matters. And I agree… ca 70% of it, but that’s later on. And I want to go much deeper than that saying. What I really mean is that I think you should focus on the act of working. For example if you are walking towards your goal, you can gain much more experience if you take an active decision how you are taking yourself towards your goal. Are you going to run toward your goal? Why? Walk? Jogging? Which way are you going to take? If you are focusing on how you work your work, you learn much more of it rather than just doing it like a zombie. In my mind there is a difference, you can either work toward your goals or you can really work toward your goals. And taking active decisions about how and understanding why you’re working on your path to the goal gives you knowledge for the rest of you life.  Of course you have to know your goals to be able to do this (therefore I only believe in ca 70% of the saying above, i.e. the path to the goals are important but not everything), otherwise you will stray around in nowhere with really determined steps. But my point is that if you know your goals, pay attention to the work you do. Because you are going to reach the goals eventually. Hard work pays of, you will get your rewards! Don’t care about that. And if it didn’t pay of? You obviously didn’t reach your goals yet, it’s just a setback in your path. But as I wrote earlier, pay attention to your work and really learn from what you’re doing. I’m ashamed of myself today, that a few years later I can’t remember anything about the subjects in which I had high grades.

And I strongly believe that I would not have such a big problem of working by myself today. Because every job get’s a result, good or bad. It doesn’t matter, because if it’s bad you can always start over. It’s not that hard. A failure is an experience. And I really wish that someone could have refocused my mind what really matters today, when I am actually an adult to stand alone on my independence. Work is what matters, not the result. You’ll get the results no matter what, don’t mind that, or at least do not focus on that.

Then of course there is a possibility that you learn something how it should be done even though you are a “zombie” in school. Yes, I learned how to write an essay so my teachers would approve it. But that’s not my point here. My point is to work for the sake of myself. To gain knowledge of a subject for myself. Not because a teacher asked me to write an essay about e.g. WW2. I can write an essay about WW2 to my teacher, but somehow I have known idea how to write an essay about a subject I decided to myself for myself.

But I do understand that not everyone thinks like me. Not everyone takes school like the competition of their lives. Someone need the grades. And the grades are there to check up on your education, to see if you lack any knowledge about something so you can correct it early before it’s too late. And it’s a good thing. But for me? It messed up my whole life. Because now, I have to do something new (paint for myself, for myself and no one other) and rehabilitate myself from a 12 year focus.

So, If you are a reader, who still is in school or a person with a “nice girl syndrome” or anyone who feels the same struggles as me in work-life, my tip is don’t focus on the grades. Work for yourself, and only for yourself, regardless of the subject. I believe you gain much more in life by learning from the work you do for yourself, instead of working for someone else or someone who is expecting something from you. What do I mean? Well, If your boss tells you to hammer a nail in to the wall. Learn how to hammer nails in to the walls. Do it for yourself, so you can hammer nails in to the wall for the rest of your life and use the knowledge to accomplish a temporary assignment from your boss. Do not just hammer a nail because your boss says so. To hammer a nail to the wall is a simple task to do. In fact it is so simple you can do without really putting an effort to it and you’ll probably not gain any experience by that. In the end you really won’t know anything about how to hammer nails with the right hammer, in the right spot on the wall or use the correct nail for the purpose.

Therefore, I really wished somebody had said to the younger me – “Grades don’t matter!” .

Regards
Thinker

P.S. They who don’t know what the “Nice girl syndrome” is. Here is a good blog post to describe what it’s like: http://beingraluca.com/the-nice-girl-syndrome/ D.S.

What is art? An answer by me.

Okay, I’m going to tackle what may be the hardest question ever, right on. Grabbing the bull by it’s horns.

I’m thinking that if I try to explain what art is, which is a nearly impossible task to do. You, a reader who maybe never even explored art, could have a chance to understand what art is. And hopefully the result of this post would be that you who read this could begin your journey in exploring amazing art. But if you are a reader who already possess the knowledge and experience of what art is, you can just skip the rest of this post, if you aren’t interested in listening to my thoughts about the question.

So, before I’m going to answer I’ll tell you that I’m going to do it in a little bit different way. Because the “right” answer to this question, sorry to reveal this, may not even exist.. Or maybe it does, but the answer is so complicated it would take a decade to explain. So therefore I’m going to explain my version what art is. So if you agree with me or understand my thoughts it may clear some things up just enough for you so you can start enjoy art more.

Okay.. now it begins.

Many of my friends have been asking what art really is. And I’ve been explained to that most of the average people who dosen’t  spend that much time to expose them selfs to art, think that art is usually an mystery with a hint of elitism. And even if I can understand where this preconception is coming from, it’s making me really sad. But hey, I want to stop that way of thinking here and now! Because even though art dosen’t seem that way, I think it is for every body! And I really mean every body! Art, in my opinion is for the rich CEO as the poor outside who is begging for money. But how?

First of all I want to explain to you that art is many different things and I will try to explain all the ways I’ve been thinking about. And I want to clarify my own version what art really is. Not what it means or what it stands for. And remember that because I think many people really get these things mixed up.

Art as an material in any sort, is a biprodukt of an artist thoughts. An artist has or have an idea, and the way to express that thought or idea is to through “something” like material or their own/somebody’s else’s body. The artist is therefore trying to get the idea to the real world so the audience can see. So for an example, I get an idea to express my pain from a loss in my family. And I express my idea through clay, a sculpture is formed and it’s a biprodukt from my thoughts for you to see my pain. Remember though, that the artist dosen’t necessary need to have an idea of some sort. Art can be born by an artist who dosen’t do anything particular, or for a millions other ways. How the specific artform is born to life, you have to ask the artist of the art. Although I think i’ts a unnecessary question! Why? I’ll explain later on.

Okay, so now you know what I’m think art is in a material way. That may or may not be important for you to know, I don’t know. But I think by thinking the art as an biprodukt of something in material like the way I described it, art get a less scary and more understandable. By thinking material art like this, you can understand that everybody can do art. You don’t necessary need  10 years of education to paint a paining to classify it as art. Even though I would recommend to educate in every subject you tend to try work with because the knowledge you get by it. But you don’t need it for just simply expressing your self through something that causes art.

I think that explains too why art can be everything! Everything from the Bottle dryer, 1914 by Marcel Duchamp to Jackson Pollock’s frenzy paintings or the “Mona Lisa“, 1503-1517 by Leonardo Da Vinci. Now I hope that you understand me that I don’t mean Jackson Pollock was painting as he did because a loss in a family or because he got an idea, that is impossible for me to know and every artist has his or her own reasons.

Okay, If you have been reading this far you have maybe been thinking that this is a very shallow way of thinking about art. And I agree with you, I think that thinking about art only as an biprodukt by somebody’s head is.. just a little interesting in one way but really boring in another. And even if I think an artwork does change in a way if I get the knowledge that the artwork was born due to express a loss in a family, it isn’t the point of why I want to visit every museum in the world.

So why do I want to look deep into artworks for hours? Well, I’ve been explaining the physical artwork. The part of the art which is visible by the eyes in form of a painting, performance  or sculpture for example. But the reason why I love art is the mentally and more about the audience point of view.

A metaphor. Think that you are in a backyard. The backyard that you been living for your whole life. You know it so well that you recognize every tree and flower on the backyard. Around the backyard there’s a tall wooden fence that makes you impossible to see whats outside the backyard. And you don’t need to see outside either, because you have everything on the backyard and you are just fine.

But in the fence, there is one spot. A hole, a small hole which makes it possible for you to peak it through and see whats outside. And here you have a choice, you can either ignore it and just live your life. Or you can go forward, press your head against the fence and with one eye look trough the hole to see what’s happening.

And now back to reality. I think, that art is what you see through that hole. Do you see a person in love that makes you smile? Do you see a man taking suicide that makes you sad? Do you se a paradox that makes you wonder and think in confuse? Do you see something that opens your mind by forcing you to think differently? I think that art is a peak-hole to an whole another universe there everything is possible. Your imagination is the only thing that limits how you interpret the art. Art makes you feel emotions and it’s an amazing way to connect to your inner self. By forcing you to confront art that maybe makes you angry and making you ask yourself why does it make you angry? What is so special about this artwork that makes you react that way? How do you interpret art?

This is why I think art is for everybody. Because there is no right or wrong answer in art! You should never be afraid to go to an art galleri to watch art. You are the only one who knows what the art tells you. It only needs a little bit of mind and effort to it. You need to give the artwork time. Even I can admit that not every artwork speaks to me like a lightning from heaven. Some artworks strikes me more than others, and that’s okay to!

Now you maybe understand why the question to an artist how an artwork come to life is unnecessary. I think that it dosen’t matter why Jackson Pollock paint the way he did, because the painting itself speaks to me in a way I think is interesting. But I want to tell you that some artworks can be difficult to get any emotions from if you don’t know the history of it. I had a really hard time enjoying for example Kazimir Malevitj painting “White on white“, 1918 before I got an explanation of it by an art-history teacher I hade in my art-school. So if there is an artwork that you really don’t understand, either ask the gallery owner, artist themselves (if present) or use google! I can assure you that everybody want’s you rather to ask than go home disliking the artwork just because you don’t know the reason behind it.

So now I’ve been trying to explain the 2 biggest things about art in my opinon. What art is, and what art is… Was it hard to explain? Yes. And I would not consider to be done yet. Because the hardest thing to do when trying to explain what art is, is the phenomena that every time you are explaining yourself into a corner of properties that art may have. And every time you are claiming what art really is, someone is proving you wrong. Because I want to explain that art may be a combination of everything that I written here, but it can also be nothing of that I have claimed it to be. Art can come in various forms and shapes and sometimes I even have described it as the word for “Love”. “Love” can be described as passionated, wild sex and heartbreaking emotions as much it can be described as silent kisses, long emotional stares and the warm hug. You can have a love for a parent as much as you can love a dog or your partner in different ways. Almost everybody know what love is, but i’ts as hard to describe what love is as what art is. Do you understand what I mean?

Now, I just want to talk about one more thing. Because if you understand me and agree with me maybe I have enlightened you a little bit more what art is for me, and what it may be for you. Hopefully art isn’t that scary anymore and a little bit less elite. And thats the thing I want to talk about now. Why is it so elite? Well, the exact reason I don’t know. But as an artist I can tell you my own opinion. The biggest problem with art being elite is that the average  person in my opinon avoid it. And by avoiding it, it becomes harder and harder to understand because artist often explore new things with art that have never been seen before. That causes a barrier between an artist and the average person, because the artist maybe explores new things from the point of the artist education which may be 5-10 years of knowledge from an academy, meanwhile an average person maybe never even takes the time to look at a public sculpture. I think that causes misunderstanding. Misunderstanding results in something bad. In this case the most common bad results amongst my friends is that they start a bad reputation about art. They don’t thing art is a necessary thing in society, just an expensive waste of money. And I think i’ts nothing wrong with that way of thinking. But I get sad about the fact that I, who think that art is the best way to personal development is referred to “a waste of taxpayers money”. As if everything is just about how to earn more money so you can spend it on a sunny beach not caring about anything. But the problem is the other way to. I know gallery owners who think their galleries are too luxurious, only accepting museum owners as customers, not wanting you with shaggy clothes stumbling around their million dollar worth artworks.

But luckily, the gallery owner would never deny you going in to watch art. So my tip? Don’t care! I’ve been many times in galleries watching art in my sweatpants. And if you are one of them who think art is a waste of time and money. If you’ve been reading this far, I hope you feel to give art a chance. Even if you are disagreeing with my thoughts, I can assure that art have it’s ways to give something nice back to you if you just have the effort to give your time to the art. I mean, art wouldn’t have existed anymore if it wasn’t worth something to the humanity anymore.

My best regards
Thinker

Who am I?

Okay… Hey! I guess?

This is my first ever own blog. My very first one… So bear with me here, because I don´t even know how to start. But I think it will eventually become clear as soon I get my first thoughts down in words.

So.. First of all, I want to explain what this blog is all about.

Yesterday, I got an idea. I wanted to combine my two biggest passions in my life, thinking and art. I’ve all my life been thinking, a lot others have said. Of course I cannot know how much “quantity” of thinking others do, so a comparison between me and others would be impossible. But either way, I think. I am a thinker.

The second passion in my life is art. Art is my passion. I cannot describe how much this mean for me. But a hint would maybe be to tell you that my first memory is about when I draw a portrait of me and my family. I was around 3 years. I’ve ever since painted in somehow and expressed myself in art, although I’ve have to admit that I haven’t practiced the fine arts since 3 years old. But I can tell you about that in another post in the future.

So, to the point.

I’m a human. I’m a human with a little knowledge about art. And with this statement I mean that I have my happy and sad moments that I strongly believe everybody have! And not only by those who trying to make it in the fine art-business but also in every another business possible. Everybody have their ups and downs. But I want to share my ups and downs with you, who maybe are too trying to make it in the art-business.  But most of all, the whole thing about this blog, I want to share my thoughts about art. To everybody who are interested in learning about art and listen to what I’ve to say. But remember, I’m no expert! All my thoughts are my own and I’m no art critic. My thoughts about art is not fact written in stone.

My idea is just to express my way of thinking so you can form your own opinion about art. I want to show what art can be and what it is for me. Not correct anyones opinions.

And therefore, a blog about my thoughts of art!

Enough now why I did this, who am I? Like the title describes so good  I asked myself who am I. Even though this is a question which you should not take lightly, I’m going to describe me a little bit just enough for you to get a grip about this blog. But now, before I spoil too much about myself I want to tell you that I wont tell everything about me. Because if you didn’t already noticed I want to tell you that I’ve decided to write this blog anonymously. And there is various reasons for this. One of them is because I’m shy. Another reason is that I don’t want to make a name for myself for this blog. I don’t want to show of my work or advertise me as an artist. I want this blog to be an open blog about art around the world, not for me to sell my work to you as a reader.

So therefore I will only express details about myself that may be in interest for you to know and understand my way of thinking. Because I will not pretend that details like where I’m born or gender will play a roll in my way of expressing myself or my way of interpreting art.  So, to the final question. Who am I?

I am a:

Girl, european, 20-25 years old, no religions and studies art although I’ve not yet begun studies at the Academy of Fine Arts.

My best regards
Thinker